Wedding Website

Isn't a blog enough?  Not quite! :)  I went ahead and created a website on TheKnot.com - the information is much more concise.  We'll keep it updated as we get more info and the wedding draws nearer.
Feel free to RSVP via this website or sign our Guestbook.  We'd like to do as much electronically as possible.

www.theknot.com/ourwedding/SaraRosenberger&KoryBlose

Cozumel Safety Info

We've been contacted by several individuals concerning the safety of the destination at which we've chosen to say "I do."  With all the negativity Mexico has gotten in the media, I understand the fear and confusion. 

Instead of taking the time to explain why Cozumel is a very safe destination for our wedding, I've decided to leave it to the professionals who have actually been there. :)   Here are some articles about Cozumel that might put those worried at ease.  The first one contains lots of good info for everybody that is considering cruising with us.  The second is more about safety in general but would be a good read for all, as well. :)   If you would like to speak to someone who is  very knowledgable about travel and safety, I would recommend you contact our travel agent - Kristi Zeleski.  kristi@denvertravel.net 

Cozumel and Cruising - Great info for everyone cruising with us!
Cozumel Safety - Great for those concerned about the safety in Cozumel.
(Google search - Cozumel Safety for additional information)

For those of us that are visual learners, I've created a map.  The distance  alone should convince you that while Juarez is unsafe, Cozumel is not necessarily unsafe!  (Click on the image to see it in a larger view)

Kory and I would never select a location that would put us or our loved ones in danger.  Please feel free to contact us with additional concerns and we will do our best to get resolutions!

Wedding Dress Shopping... Attempt 1

My oh my... I never would have imagined the task at hand when it comes to wedding dress shopping!  Not only was it time consuming and exhausting, it was completely overwhelming!  All the time I searched online has proven to be a wasted effort.  The dresses I never took a second glance at are the ones that seemed to fit me and my body type best.  That was a surprise.  The prices of these 'one wear' outfits was an even bigger surprise! 

My new gal pal Heidi, who is also getting married this fall, and I decided that it was time to start the big search for that perfect dress.  In Denver, there is a little bridal shop called Amanda's Bridal that has an outstanding reputation - a logical starting point.   Without an appointment, we began our big hunt for that perfect white gown. 

When we arrived, the consultant instructed us to pick 5 dresses from their selection.  It was like an ocean of white!  There were so many dresses!  Both of us admitted to being completely overwhelmed!  How do you really decipher one from the next...  ? Heidi plans to have a traditional, elegant ceremony, so her dress options seemed to be endless. I, on the other hand, would like to have an understated dress that fits our casual, beachy wedding theme.  Within a matter of seconds of explaining to the dress consultant what I was looking for, I found that this style of dress is far and few between.  With the specification of - 1. No beading, 2. No lace, 3. No train... there were 2 dresses that fit my "needs" and somehow they were still nothing of what I'd envisioned myself in.  I quickly widened my search criteria, if only for the sake of not making Heidi feel uncomfortable.  By doing so, I at least found the style that seems to flatter my figure best - one I never would have tried on in any other circumstance - so the day was not lost... it was certainly an eye opening experience!

After finding several amazing gowns for Heidi, we decided to take note of them and move on to a bigger store - David's Bridal.  Our spontaneous shopping didn't work as well for them.  We were unable to get in.  We promised to call ahead for an appointment next time.  Instead of searching for more bridal boutiques, we called our boys to meet us and headed out for a relaxing and laughter filled dinner at Ruby Tuesday.  

8 Months

8 months from today is Thanksgiving!  How exciting!  I just love Thanksgiving! 

8 months from today, 243 days (to be exact),  I will be a married woman!  For that very reason, I cannot wait for Thanksgiving! :)

Reality TV Addicts

As with every critical phase of life, there seems to be a relevant reality TVshow.  When we were doing home improvements, our televisions never left HGTV and I am certain that if we ever decide to have kiddos, I'll be glued to the TV when the baby shows come on.  Now that we're planning a wedding, I am addicted to catching every episode of every wedding show out there.  Lucky for me, we have a DVR, so I can have marathons when I am in wedding mode. 

To my surprise, I'm not the only one who enjoys the wedding shows... so does my fiance!  I find Kory intrigued by Say Yes to the Dress and forming opinions I never imagined.  He will actually admit to liking Amazing Wedding Cakes, Rich Bride Poor Bride, and most of all - My Fair Wedding!

We agree that it would be amazing to be chosen to have our wedding made over by David Tutera (My Fair Wedding)... and dream about being casted.  Just for fun I checked the website to see if they were casting and if so, would they be willing to come to Mexico?  Unfortunately, no.  Though, we can hope that that changes! haha.  It would be great fun to have someone just do everything... with an unlimited budget! : )

Wedding Wish list

Kory and I decided that we would run out and do our wedding registries today.  While it seems odd to both of us to create "wish lists" for what we would like purchased for us, all of the wedding magazines and websites say it is rude not to.  Apparently people really stress about what to buy.  So we did as we were told... 
We did a quick little google search for stores that offer wedding registries.  The list was endless.  We ended up selecting Crate & Barrel and Target... for no particular reason other than we knew how to get to each place and they're stores we love!  
We started our registry rampage at Crate & Barrel.  We had so much fun!  Kory, of course, was in charge of the barcode scanner.  We registered for everything under the sun... and we both learned so much about things like glassware, cooking tools, and entertaining.  An hour later, when we'd made it through the entire store and scanned all the things our hearts would ever desire, we headed to the register to return our scanning gun.  The ladies that worked there were shocked that we were laughing and smiling.  "You're not fighting?" One of the employees asked.  Apparently most wedding registries end in battles over what to choose.  Luckily we did not fall into this trend.... we just made it a little adventure and had a wonderful time.

Before heading to our next registry destination we stopped at a little sushi restaurant for a snack.  All that walking and scanning must have been more demanding than we'd realized.  Little did we know, Crate & Barrel was nothing compared to our second store of choice.
We headed to Target.  Immediately we were overwhelmed by the selection.  We came up with a plan of how to attack the store.  Starting in the storage/cleaning section, we were off.  From decorations, luggage and camping supplies to bedding and cookware, we managed to get a little of everything.  After 4 exhausting hours of fantasizing about our future and scanning, scanning, scanning, we were finally heading to Customer Service to return out handy dandy scanner.  We agreed that this was a much more tiring experience than the one we'd had earlier in the day.  I never ever would have imagined the time it would take to get through a single store!
To finish off our mini adventure, we headed to Cold Stone Creamery for our grand finale... ice cream! :) 

Considering his overworked feet and a lack of interest in home decor, Kory was amazing!  Like the gals at Crate&Barrel, I was a bit concerned that this wedding task wouldn't be a smooth one.  I'd read tales of grooms-to-be throwing fit about having to spend hours walking up and down aisles of stores they may not ever enter otherwise.  I was relieved to find that Kory did nothing of the sort.  As always, he tried to make the day as fun and comical as he possibly could.  I actually think he enjoyed it.... well maybe just the fact that he got to use a nifty little barcode scanning gun!  It was challenging and exciting trying to envision what we will need going forward...

Our registries:
                       Target         Crate&Barrel



248 days to go...

Update: Sam's Recovery, Week 4

Today it has been 4 weeks since Sam had her knee surgery.  Considering the extreme lack of exercise and stimulation she is getting, she is doing amazingly well - thanks to the awesome drugs the vet has prescribed for her and the containment of our baby gates.  She is now allowed two 5-minute walks a day.  This obviously doesn't compare to the hour long walks and daily trips to the dog park, but she is clearly thrilled to get out of the house and get to sniff around the streets and parks near our home.  I think we're all longing for the day we can go on our lengthy excursions exploring the neighborhoods and parks in the warm Colorado sunshine ... for now we'll settle for our brief  'teaser' outtings.   She seems to be coping with the mundane days by choosing different places to nap.  One minute she might be on the bed, the next she is in the bathroom laying on a pile of dirty clothes Kory left behind.  Whatever makes her happy and keeps her calm and comfy...

Tomorrow Sam is scheduled to get her follow up x-rays to confirm that she is indeed healing properly and on track to a full recovery.  We're crossing our fingers and toes and praying that her bones are mending as they should.

Absence Makes the Heart..

homesick.

For the first time since Kory and I have been engaged, I had to hop on an airplane to get to work.  It doesn't matter that I've gotten to work from home the last several months... I still miss my boy and pup as if I'll be gone indefinitely!  (Sam must get this from me.)   What is the matter with me?   The state of Indiana surely won't miss me when I'm gone, and I will certainly return those sentiments.  Thursday cannot come soon enough...

3.6.2010: Kory turned 25

I've been trying to explain to Kory, for years now, that birthdays are something to be celebrated and enjoyed to the fullest capacity.  With his "It's just another day attitude," it has never been a priority to do anything exceptional.  So, in hopes of inspiring a new love of his day of birth,  we explored a delicious restaurant, had an amazing dessert at a new favorite spot, followed by delightful cocktails at an intimate hideaway overlooking Denver.

When Kory ventured off to baseball practice early Saturday morning, I pretended to be asleep until I heard his truck pull out of the driveway.  When the coast was clear I jumped out of bed and headed to the local grocery store for his all time favorite - carrot cake and vanilla ice cream.  When he got home we (Sam included) had a little "family" birthday party where I sang a sad rendition of Happy Birthday and Sam persistently tried to sneak a lick of the cream cheese icing.   We followed the morning shin-dig with a crazy long nap. 

In fact, it was so long that we nearly slept through our dinner reservations!  Thankfully, Kory woke up at 4:00, just enough time for us to get ready and be at our 5:00 dinner reservations.  Dinner was amazing.  We went to a Brazilian steakhouse downtown called Fogo de Chao.  The meal begins with a salad bar that is to die for.  When you've had your fair share of veggies, cheeses, and salads, you flip a little card to green.  Men carrying gigantic pieces of meat come to your table to offer you what option they have.  It was something else.  Kory flipped his card to green and it was as if their life's goal was to please him.  From filet mignon and sirloin, to chicken, pork, and sausage... the selection was vast and quite tasty!  Needless to say, we ate all we could possibly eat...  but it was incredible! 

After dinner, we rolled out of the restaurant and headed to a little cafe restaurant called The Market.  We met up with our friends, Ryan and Heidi for dessert.  We sat and talked for nearly an hour before Kory and I agreed we finally had room to share a dessert.  Instead of carrot cake, we opted for an oversized eclair...  by the time we'd finished our dessert, we were overstuffed yet again and ready for another long long nap!   Instead we headed to a little known bar/cafe that is hidden on the 27th floor of the Hyatt.  The views were breathtaking.  I could have sat there all night and just looked at the twinkling lights!  Kory, Heidi, Ryan, and I nestled into a little corner which is where we would remain content for several hours just enjoying each other's company! :)

When we finally got home it was around 11 pm.  Sam acted as if we'd been MIA for weeks.  Kory curled up with her in the bed to check his email... and to our delight there was an email from his mom awaiting him.  It was a little tale of Kory when he was a babe and a child.  It was the PERFECT ending to an awesome day!  It's so sweet to imagine my big teddy bear of a fiance as a chubby, helpless baby... 25 years later. :)

Happy Birthday, Kory!

Today is Kory's 25th Birthday! It's hard to believe he is another year older... it seems like just yesterday we started dating - when he was only 19...  At the same time, it feels like we've known eachother our entire lives!
I am so thankful for Kory and that I get to celebrate this milestone of a birthday with him.  What a blessing he has been in my life and the lives of so many others. 
To celebrate we're going to a Brazilian Steakhouse followed by the most delicious bakery for his favorite food of all - carrot cake! :) 
I look so forward to the day that we can have little family get togethers to celebrate... until then...

Happy Birthday, Kory!

I love you!

OPERATION: Vow to Wow - Day 1

With just under 9 months to go until our tropical wedding day, Kory and I have officially kicked off operation ' Vow to Wow ' and it was not an easy first day, let me tell ya.  On one hand you have the groom, Kory, who seems to be able to hop right back into a fitness routine - running miles at a time and lifting weights that I can't even scoot across the floor.  On the other hand, there is me.  Let's just say I didn't get off to the same easy start.  I decided a consultation with a personal trainer might be a better way to begin this journey, to avoid injury or missed goals.  (Keep in mind, I haven't exercised regularly since my second year of college). So that I did... and I would definitely say I got my money's worth!   I ended up twisting and moving my body in ways I didn't know possible and used the most unsuspecting exercise equipment to do so.  Marty, my secret key to swimsuit body success, had my heart pumping and the sweat flowing within 10 minutes of our meeting.  Needless to say, I was sold.  I will meet up with Marty every Friday that I am in town for that extra push...
It was an awesome start to this long journey... but now I am ready for a donut... or some pizza! : p

Details Details... Details!

We are finding out the hard way that it is not the big decisions that will drive you crazy when planning a wedding, but the minor ones, that could be easily overlooked!  To some they may seem like significant parts of a wedding, but to me, I just don't see the real importance.  I keep thinking, as long as I'm marrying the guy of my dreams and we're surrounded by our dearest family and friends, then nothing else will matter or make the day any more wonderful.  The ironic part is that I am having the hardest time making these "insignificant" decisions - whether it be what color to dress the chairs in or the type of flower the boutonnières should be made of - I just cannot decide!  Trust me, it doesn't make any sense to me either!

The good news, I believe we've gotten all the major decisions hammered down.  We know when and where we're getting married... and who we will invite and who will be photographing the big day.  Other than that, it is all still up in the air...
A wedding dress, a color, favors, food, drinks, cake flavors, first dance, flowers, gifts for attendants, invitations, registries... and then of course we have the hometown reception details to be concerned with... food, drinks, DJ, centerpieces, decorations, and of course, what to wear!
It seems like we have forever, but each time I look up another month has passed and we're still where we were...

265 days until November 24, 2010 ... and counting.

First Cruise Booking

Our travel agent informed me today that our very first guests booked their cruise today!  Our incredible friends, Jay and Jen were the very first!  For some reason, this little factoid totally melted my heart and grounded the fact that we are really going to do this... and there might be people there to witness it! :)

This is a photo of the 4 of us, taken on the eve of Jen & Jay's wedding day, last September!

Sweet Reminders

Kory and I have been so blessed to be surrounded by the most thoughtful and surprisingly creative people.  The number of sweet cards and homemade gifts we've received since our engagement has blown us away.   We received an ornament reflecting the date of our engagement from Kory's dad and stepmom.  I think this will end up being more of a year around decoration than one exclusive to Christmas! :)  And it even looks like us! I didn't even know things like this were available... I love a good personalized gift!

Most recently, we received a surprise package from Florida.  My distant relatives from Punxsy ("Bubbles" and Tom Steenburgen) picked up a seashell on their annual Florida getaway and personalized it for Kory and I! It certainly made our day! :)  We're going to have little reminders of our wedding and engagement all over the house and I love it!  Currently our refrigerator is covered from top to bottom  in cards from our friends and family... I don't know if it would be possible for us to be any more loved or fortunate when it comes to the kindness our awesome families and friends have shown us! :)  We're really so blessed...

Sam, You're Healed!

Well, not quite... but that is where we're hoping and praying we'll be soon!  Kory and I have learned to do everything we possibly can out of our bedroom, which has become Sam's refuge.  As soon as we're out of her line of sight, the yelping and crying begins.  In hopes of minimizing her separation anxiety, we take turns escaping from our tiny bedroom. 

Last week we had a little scare.  On Wednesday night, when Kory came home from work, Sam became her usual wild woman when she realized her favorite guy was near.  She jumped up on her hind legs (one being the gimpy leg) and came down with the most horrifying cry.  Kory and I were both very concerned.  Sam will whine endlessly because she wants attention or needs to go outside, but we've only heard her whimper in pain a handful of times and never like this.  She went from using her leg occasionally to acting like it was not there at all.  She kept it tucked up to her belly and hopped around.  We "knew" we were in trouble.   On Thursday, I kept a close eye on her.  She still refused to use the leg at all.  When we informed her surgeon of what had happened, she insisted that we bring her in ASAP.  

When we arrived at the vet's office and Sam realized where we were, she whined like she was being tortured.  After dragging her into the office, they were able to do a physical exam and take an x-ray.  The surgeon's assistant informed us that we'd surely taken several steps back as far as Sam's recovery is concerned.  An x-ray revealed nothing.  Everything internally seemed a-OK.  Thank goodness.  

We thanked our lucky stars that our little untamed beast wouldn't need additional attention from our surgeon... and is still on track to regain full use of her 4th leg!
When we got back home, we locked ourselves in Sam's makeshift bedroom/kennel, and snuggled in for a calm and restful evening.  We're still trying to figure out how to keep her from going crazy when Kory gets home.  The only solution we've arrived at is Kory quitting his job and becoming a stay at home 'Sam Snuggler.'  Unlikely, but I think Sam and Kory would agree that it would be a dream they both hope to attain! :)

Vow to Wow - Family Style

Kory came home from Pennsylvania with all kinds of great news!  Most importantly, his mom's surprise party went off without a hitch!  They had a wonderful time and she was genuinely surprised!  I wish I could have been there to see it but luckily, Kory's sisters took over my job of family photographer and passed on lots of great pictures!
I was impressed and surprised when Kory told me about the deal he made with his big sister, Kelly, and his mom... they would all run a 5k together in June - in hopes of not only supporting one another, but also beating one another!  Pretty awesome, right?  What motivation to get into shape!  I would love to join their challenge... but I think this one is best left to the fiance and in-laws! haha.  I'll stick to my virtual dog walks and wii fit!  But I promise to be standing there at the finish line cheering for each and every one of them! :) 

All this talk about getting into shape did motivate Kory and I to sign up for a gym membership.  I am actually looking forward to working out together!  We may as well watch each other shed the extra pounds, we'll surely appreciate the end product that much more...

Great Friends, Great Advice

I spent my evening with one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aaron.  She and I have been pals since 7th grade.  Unfortunately, she lives far away (in Utah) so we had our little girls' night via our handy dandy cell phones.  All I can say is thank goodness for unlimited nights and weekends.  We talked for 4 hours!  We probably could have watched the sunrise together but my phone battery gave in...

The coolest thing we talked about was marriage.  Aaron and her husband have been together for 8 years and have 3 lovely little girls.  As any couple, they have been through their trials.  The inspiring part is, not only have they lived to talk about it but they both have learned invaluable lessons from the challenges they've faced as a couple.  Aaron, the brilliant woman she is, reminded me that guys think in a completely different way than girls.  They don't need to talk endlessly about their problems and prefer to limit discussions about our problems to concise statements.  She also suggested that the female mind is more consequence oriented while males live in the moment more.  Everything she said made so much sense.  It's nice to know we're not alone.  The best part was when her hubby chimed in and said, "Just remember, as much as you love them, you'll hate them."  I couldn't help but take a second and think about that.  I really love Kory a lot.  It's hard to imagine taking the immense feelings of love and adoration and throwing them to the opposite end of the spectrum... but I'm certain we'll have our moments!  Their candor was not only comical but enlightening.   It's wonderful to have friends that have 'been there' when it comes to marriage  and are happy to share the good, the bad, and the humiliating... And, of course, can give real life warnings and advice when it comes to what we about to get ourselves into! :)  I can already see that these late night chats and 'wife to wife' talks about life will be an incredibly enjoyable support system that I will surely embrace whole heartedly! :)

Aaron has also agreed to be our unofficially official  cruise and wedding photographer!! :)  I really couldn't be happier about this - she's crazy good!  One more detail down, infinite to go...

Big Plans

Spoiler Alert... Just kidding. I am typing this Thursday night but I would not dare post it until at least Saturday night. I'd hate to be cast out of the Blose family before I even officially join.

This morning Kory got up before sunrise to hop on a plane to Pennsylvania. The original plan was for us to go together but Sam's injury put a kink in our plans. Thank goodness for Southwest's flexible flight change options... though, what's another couple hundred bucks! ha! So I'm going to hang back in Denver to cuddle and care for our dog and her beat up leg.  Think of the Yiddish proverb, "We plan, God laughs."
Meanwhile, Kory is in route to PA for his mama's big surprise 50th birthday party! I actually think they've managed to keep it a secret based on conversations Kory has had with his mom. Though, we all know how a mother's intuition gets in the way of these kinds of events. :) His sisters planned an awesome day of pampering followed by a surprise dinner with all of their mom's closest friends. I cannot wait to find out what kind of reaction she has and if they pulled it off! I'm hoping someone gets camera happy so I can pretend I was there along side my future in-laws for the big reveal!

Conveniently, Kory was able to schedule a meeting and tour at the University of Pittsburgh for tomorrow (Friday). One of Kory's best friend's big brothers is a surgeon at Pitt. He was nice enough to set Kory up with some folks that would be of particular interest to Kory in his plans to earn a PhD!  How awesome is that?!  I haven't been this excited about something in a long time!  :) Those who know Kory know that he is capable of doing ANYTHING! Really... he's brilliant! I'm so glad he is going to pursue higher educational opportunities and aim for his full potential. I'm telling you folks, he's an Einstein! I am not biased or anything! haha. So in addition to hearing about how the surprise party goes, I'm dying to hear what Kory thinks about Pitt! If all goes as we're hoping and praying it will, we'll be moving back to Pennsylvania in August so Kory can reignite his love for academia and pursue a doctorate!!!

In an attempt to put my useless enthusiasm aside,  I'm going to spend the weekend refocussing my energy on the less exciting things I need to get caught up on...  and of course, icing, medicating, and caring for our little dogchild!

Wedding Logistics and Booking Details

Since the Save the Dates have been delivered, I have begun receiving all kinds of questions about the details around the cruise.  Our travel planner is going to send out information packages in the near future but I figured I may as well inform the eager! :)

Click Here to be directed to the Carnival website for specific cruise details. 

Our travel agent, Kristi Zelesky at Denver Travel, is ready and willing to start booking cruises and flights for those that are ready. 

Email: Kristi@denvertravel.net 

Phone: 888.321.0103 (toll free) or 303.504.0400 (Office)

Denver Travel tells us that they will meet or beat any online offer and if you go through Kristi, it will assure that you are on the right cruise! :) 

Click on the image below for more information.

Note: Price includes taxes

Happy Birthday, Marilyn!

"Today is Michael Jordan's birthday!"  Kory chuckled, first thing this morning, aware that I understood his silliness.  Today is not only Michael Jordan's birthday, but also Kory's mom's - Marilyn, my future mother in law! :)

(Some of  the biggest challenges of living in Denver when most of both of our families are 2000 miles away in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania are days like today.  We don't get to celebrate birthdays like we'd love to!  I suppose we're lucky that florists deliver! : / )

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY,  MARILYN!!! 

WE LOVE YOU!!

Sam's Surgery Success

Yesterday, after Kory and Sam left to head off to the vet, I turned my phone volume all the way up and just started waiting... and waiting... and waiting for the call that would inform us that our sweet "little" Sammie's surgery was a great success and we were welcome to come get her anytime.   This waiting and waiting began at 6:45 am.  It wasn't until 3 pm that the orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Fick, called to tell us the surgery went wonderfully!  As soon as I answered the phone, she says, "Boy, you sound like you've been waiting for this call all day!"  haha.  I guess I let the cat out of the bag! :)  Luckily, Sam hadn't caused further damage to the cartilage.  The bummer, we wouldn't be able to get her  until the following day!  I know it's a bit pathetic, but I just wanted to get her home!

Today is the day she gets to come home!  We've made lots of yummy treats and prepared the guest room for her long recovery!  Thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers!!

Prayers for Sammie Sunshine

Kory whisked Sam away early this morning for her much anticipated surgery.  She was pitifully excited to get to go with Kory... little could she understand or know where she was being taken.  We'll be anxiously waiting for the phone call that will tell us the surgery was a success and she is comfortably waiting for the anesthesia to wear off.  Prayers and kind thoughts are much appreciated.   We're confident in her surgeon, Dr. Fick... but there is always a concern about complications.  Pray Pray Pray!

I snapped a few photos of Sammie Sunshine during her last check up.  Can you see the angst on her face? 

A Simple Valentines

I will be the first one to admit that Valentine's Day is completely unnecessary. If you love someone, it shouldn't take a "holiday" to remind you to say it or act on it. On the other hand, I secretly look forward to February 14th for all the same reasons. It's a great excuse to spend the entire day focused on your love for that special someone and do all those sappy things that you may not get to any other day of the year.


This year was simple and wonderful. As expected, Kory waited to the very last possible second to run out and buy a little something. I woke up Sunday morning to find an empty house. It was just me and my gimpy dog. Initially, I thought I must have confused the days and it was really Monday - so logically Kory would be at work. After shoveling the few inches of snow off the sidewalks and porch I began to feel like something was off – the streets were empty. When I went in to find the usual weekday morning talk shows no where to be found, I looked at the calendar. Sure enough, it was Sunday. A few minutes later Kory rolled in with a bundle of red roses and a sweetly hilarious card in tow. I ran back to the closet to collect his little gift and card. We were like little kids on our first date... bashful yet excited for the other's response to our selected token of love.
The rest of our Valentines Day was equally as simple and sweet. A relaxing day complete with lots of laughter, warmth, and of course, pizza and ColdStone icecream!

My inbox was full of emails from friends and family saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s your last one as a single woman, enjoy it!” Kory and I both got a kick out of this. Neither one of us considers ourselves single… but technically, of course, we are… for now.

If the Invitation is Any Indication...

When I ran out to get the mail today, there was a huge oversized envelope wedged behind our mailbox.  I was so delighted to find the most beautiful wedding invitation I have ever seen, ever. 

Almost 3 years ago I started my current job. I began the journey with 3 other girls in my same situation.  We traveled to India together for extensive training.  During our time in India I became close friends with one of the girls in particular - Anu, and remain so today.  She is of Indian descent and has added so much pizazz and worldliness to my life.  She and her long time Indian boyfriend will be wed on March 4 in the beautiful Goa, India.  The elaborate presentation of their invitation only made me wish more than ever that I could be there for their big day and take part in all of their joy and see Anu as the gorgeous bride I know she will be!  I cannot wait to see the pictures... thank goodness for  digital photography!  

Save Our Date!!! 11.24.2010

Kory and I have been working our tails off trying to make our invitee list and find all of their respective addresses.  With the help of our sisters and of course the internet, I believe we are nearing the end of this daunting task.   Our Save the Date postcards just arrived and I am in an unnecessary rush to get them out!  (I'm still trying to convince Kory that my enthusiasm about our wedding day is a good thing! hehe)  I would like to give folks as much time as possible to decide if they're up for our cruise  - at this point we're down to about 8 months until the wedding, and 4 months until we're going to ask our guests to RSVP!  

In addition to planning for this 'most wonderful day of our lives,' we're also trying to get our acts together and start thinking about and planning our "Hometown Reception" that will follow the wedding at some point.  In true "great minds think alike" fashion, all three of Kory's sisters have suggested we have it on New Year's Day - 01.01.2011.  I LOVE this idea, especially since I would have loved to have had the actual wedding ceremony on this date!  As they noted, most places will probably be available - and they are!  I think we will take this brilliant idea and run with it.  We're hoping that our local guests like the idea as much as we do!

From today, we have 285 days until we leave on our wedding cruise...  according to http://www.theknot.com/, I am behind on everything!  Fortunately, my sisters are more on top of things than I am.  My big sister/Matron of Honor is coming to Denver this month to give me a little push in the right direction - thank heavens for sisters!

Update: Sam's Injury

After spending hours on the phone trying to find a reputable, board certified orthopedic surgeon to do Sam's surgery, we found our hero - Dr. Fick. Not only does she charge $1000 less than the next guy for her services, she's done hundreds of these specific types of surgeries, and put us all at ease when Sam warmed up to her before our first visit ended (for those of you who don't know Sam, it usually takes our little 'Scaredy Cat' several days to trust a stranger). 

Unfortunately we had to postpone our initial surgery appointment because some pre surgery blood work showed an elevated level of white blood cells and kidney function. I believe my initial response to this news was to laugh. Seriously? What else could go wrong!? Kory and I joked about having to take out loans to pay for Sam's dialysis, both fully aware that if necessary, we would. Luckily, this would not be necessary -yet. A follow up visit revealed that our poor gimpy dog has a bladder infection, unfortunate, but a far better outcome than renal failure. So on top of her anti inflammatory and pain meds, Dr. Fick prescribed a strong antibiotic and asked us to reschedule the surgery for the following Tuesday - February 16th.

This, initially, seemed like it would be no big deal. But reflecting on our first meeting with Sam's surgeon, we recalled her desire to do the surgery as soon as possible to avoid worsening the injury. Walking around with her bones disjointed has the potential to destroy the cartilage... which there is no simple fix for. So the sooner she gets the surgery, the less likely it is that further damage will result. All we can do is hope and pray that the infection goes quickly and we can keep Sam from jumping around like the maniac that she is! So far, I think we have done a moderately good job. Instead of walks, we take her on drives. Instead of playing with her peers at the dog park, we work on her obedience commands and tricks in our living room and do everything possible to stimulate her mind and not her body. We even took the mattress and box springs off of the bed frame and headboard to lower the bed's height - I don't know how we would sleep without our big black fur ball wedged between us! :)

Here's to  minimal ongoing complications and a speedy recovery for our little doll. Cheers!

Sam's First Big 'Boo Boo'

This past weekend was mostly full of laughter and happiness.... except for our one and only trip to the dog park with our beloved pup, Samantha (A.K.A Sam, Sammie Sunshine, Twig, etc).  Playful as ever, Sam took off to play with a dog half her size.  Kory and I looked on to make sure she didn't get too rough.  Next thing I know she is standing at Kory's side and he is examining her right, rear leg.  "Her hip must be dislocated."  He thought.  Kory struggled to carry our giant puppy out of the dog park.  He succumbed to her massive size right outside the park gate.  This is where Sam and I would remain until Kory returned with his truck to take us to the vet.

30 minutes later we arrived at our Vet's office.  The nurse took one look at the way Sam limped and could tell she had 'ruptured her CCL'. (http://www.animalhealthchannel.com/ccl/index.shtml) I looked at Kory and said, "You know, if there is any chance that she will need some crazy expensive surgery, Sam will surely need it."  How right I was.  The vet came in and afer a 3 minute exam she confirmed the nurses diagnosis.  She tore the ligament that keeps her bones in place around her knee.  The vet compared it to a human with an ACL injury.  Immediately this hit home with Kory.  It would take me hours of research to figure out exactly what this meant.   The only way to repair the tear would be a costly surgery.

Sam was clearly in pain.  When she walked, she hobbled like a three-legged dog, not our unstoppably crazy athlete of a pup.  This alone was heart breaking.  When I asked the vet how much the surgery would cost, her response was to apologize again and again.  This was a great indicator of the news to come. The nurse said, "For a dog this size, you're looking at at least $2400."  Kory and I just looked at eachother.  I could feel his anxiety and I am certain he could feel mine.  The vet continued to apologize as she wrote out prescriptions for pain medicine and a referral to an orthopedic surgeon. 

When we got in the car, Kory immediately went into problem solving mode.  The problem: How on earth would be come up with 2400 dollars?  The first thing that came to my mind was the last that came to Kory's.  The wedding.  We already had thousands of dollars tied up in this one day.  All I could think about was how much more important this furball was to me than any day at the beach - even my wedding day.  I was immediately fine with eloping.  I didn't even need to buy a stitch of clothing!  I would wear a dress that I'd worn as a bridesmaid in one of my friends' weddings a few summers ago.  This seemed like our only option.  As tears streamed down my face, Kory reminded me that it is tax season and he'd be receiving a refund that he would happily contribute!

It's funny that we never considered any alternative.  In the days to come, most dog owners that I spoke to confessed that if they were in our situation they would have to either give the dog up for adoption or put it down.  I appreciated their frankness but knew that neither of those options were for us.  Sam is our  baby.  Kory and I have bonded as her caretakers and I am certain that either one of us would do anything humanly possible to keep her safe and healthy. 

In calling the vets and surgeons in the area, we've come to the realization that this surgery is going to cost at least 50%  more than we were originally quoted.  The receptionists at the offices always seemed to have the same remorse when they had to tell us the jaw dropping figures.  But after talking to Kory for hours about what we would do, my jaw stopped dropping and I just knew it was something we had to do.  We would sell our things, we would get weekend jobs.  It doesn't matter how much it costs, we'll figure it out and have our healthy Sammie Sunshine by our sides when it is all said and done. 

In keeping with the theme of this blog, I have to say, I am SOOOO very thankful for Kory.  Through all of this, he has been an absolute rock, the unwavering  rock that I have needed more than ever!  Knowing how he responds in times of craziness and when I am on the brink of a complete meltdown gives me such a peace of mind about our future.  Marc and Angela were innocent bystanders through this traumatic experience and all they could say, with a smile on their faces is, "You guys are so ready to have children!" haha. 

Forever Friends

When I was a little girl, my two best friends and I used to tell everyone we were sisters every opportunity we got, then under our breath we would add, "In God's way," so technically we weren't lying.  To us, we were sisters, even better than biological sisters. 

We were lucky enough to have two very special visitors this week - Marc and Angela Lantz.  Marc is Kory's best friend from PA and Angela is his amazing wife that he met while doing an internship in Denver.  I can say, without a doubt, that Marc and Angela are two of our very closest and dearest friends and will remain so forever.  We had the most wonderful time together.  I've never felt more like family with people who are not at all related to me.  It was a comfortable and inspiring atmosphere. 

 I was reminded constantly of the incredibly close friendship I shared with my childhood friends by Kory and his best friend.  Their love and respect for one another was undeniable.  I've never seen two grown men show their appreciation for one another like Marc and Kory.  These two guys almost brought me to tears so many times.  Angela and I agreed that we'd never seen our men so candid and comfortable with anyone else.  This was a constant top of conversation.  We were both so moved by comments like, "You will never be replaced," and "No one will ever compare to Kory/Marc." 

While Kory is a lucky man to have three older sisters, I have to say, Marc is as closed to a brother to him as anyone will ever be and I am so thankful for their friendship.  Time and time again, I am reminded of how lucky I am to have Kory in my life and now that I am getting to know his long time friends and their gals on a whole new level, I feel even more overwhelmingly blessed to get to be a part of his life. 

Angela and I completely hit it off.   It was like we had been friends forever!  In the week they visited, I bet we talked for over 10 hours a day.  We reminisced with the boys when they were around and had "girl-talk" without them.  We dreamed about the vacations we would take together with our husbands and future kids and our promise to keep in touch forever.  I suppose you could say we are "instant great friends." 

On the way to the airport, I was reminded that we may not get to see Marc and Angela again until our wedding in November.  On one hand I was so sad to think that we may not get to connect again for 9 months, but on the other hand, I couldn't help but feel so at excited, yet at ease about our next meeting!  Marc will be performing our marriage which is going to add a dimension of meaning to the day that I would never have imagined a week ago.

It's the Little Things

Lately I've begun to notice "the little things" and their significance more and more and this has changed my attitude and opinion of the man I am going to marry and our wedding day which happens to be coming in at  just over 10 months away.

Sunday night, Kory made plans to meet up with his long time friend who was visiting from Canada, Marc.  I thought it'd be best to let them catch up on their "man bonding" so I curled up with my laptop and dog for the evening to complete our wedding invitation list.  Not only did they need to catch up on life, but Kory had a very personal question to ask his dear friend.  When Kory came home from his dinner with Marc, he was eager to help with the list.  Passively, I mentioned that chocolate chip cookies sure sounded good.  Next thing I know, Kory is running out the door at midnight to find a grocery store that was stocked with my cookie of choice.  When he got home, I think my heart melted.  I couldn't help but think, "Wow... I am just so lucky that I get to marry him..."   And to top it off, the cookies he chose were to die for!  I'm one lucky girl, you don't have to tell me! :)

The personal question...  The significance of this meeting with Marc is very much so tied to our wedding.  Marc is a youth pastor in Alberta, Canada.  Kory and I agreed that we wanted to maximize the meaning of our wedding and keeping with this we thought it would be an incredible gift if someone we both  loved could perform the ceremony.  The first person that came to mind - Marc, one of Kory's very closest friends.  New to his pastoral role, we were completely uncertain of whether or not Marc would be able to perform wedding ceremonies - and to add to the complexity, wedding ceremonies in Mexico.  In addition to the technical and legal side, we had no idea if this would be something he would be willing to do.  Luckily for us, we're able to do a symbolic ceremony, which requires no official licensing for the pastor.  And we're so blessed that Marc enthusiastically accepted our request for him to perform our marriage!  When Kory shared with me Marc's response, I was consumed by a certainty that this was in fact going to be the most amazing day of my life, to date.  As long as those that we love are surrounding us, and it's Kory I'm vowing to love forever, nothing else really matters! 

Wedding Whoas

For the first time since Kory 'popped the question,' I am completely and totally overwhelmed by the decision making that comes with planning a wedding.  Not only are we still in limbo about exactly where we're going to get married (restaurant, hotel, etc), but we also have not determined what kind (formal, casual, somewhere in the middle) of wedding we want or who we'd like to stand by our sides.  Choosing to have a wedding abroad, I assumed the details would all just fall into place on their own... little did I know things don't happen on their own in Mexico either! : /   The most stressful part is that people want to know everything NOW!  I haven't chosen a color, tried on a dress, or considered how big I want my bridal party to be so when I'm asked day in and day out, it starts to get a little overwhelming.  Am I behind?  In addition to worrying about the ceremony, we've also decided to have a 'hometown reception' in Punxsy that needs a whole lot of planning.  Deep breath. 
Here's to Kory having a whole lot of patience and even more chocolate chip cookies stored up for emergency breakdowns!  I must say, eloping does sound more enticing than ever...  but I'm in this wedding thing for the long hall, fear not!

Chelsea Rose

Immediately following all of our Christmas adventures my mom, little sister, and I were scheduled to fly out to my hometown of Farmington, New Mexico for the birth of my oldest sister's second daughter.  It just so happened that we had purchased Steelers tickets for my dad's 50th birthday.  While the gals were heading to the airport, the guys were heading to the football stadium for a wonderful day full of man-bonding over sports and yummy food.  The men were extra fortunate that Kory's dad, Joe, was able to join them!  It was great that the dads got to spend a little time getting to know one another. 

Our trip to New Mexico was seemless.  When we got to my sister's house we were all so full of joy and anticipation.  The three of us took over the house like we owned the place! My brother in law - the only male within miles, handled the 3 additions to his household wonderfully.  It was amazing that we could all be together to share in my sister's excitement!

When the baby still hadn't arrived the day before my sister and mom were scheduled to leave, they chose to extend their stays in hopes of being present for the baby's big reveal.  That night my brother in law burst into our bedroom at 3 am with the announcement that it was time!  The adrenaline immediately started pumping.   We were running around the house like wild animals with no direction.  Eventually my well experienced mother reminded us that it could be hours if not days before the baby was born.

A few hours later, after we'd fed and bathed my seven-year-old niece, Brooklyn, Justin, the daddy to be, called to tell us that my sister was nearing 7 centimeters dialated.  We rushed to the hospital just in time to be present for the most amazing experience any of us had ever witnessed. 

We were instantly in love with Miss Chelsea Rose.  She was the most perfect little ball of baby love.  Weighing in at 9 lbs, 2 oz and a whopping 23 inches long, the mystery as to why my sister was an unusually massive pregnant woman was solved! 

Christmas, 2009

It's been a long time since I enjoyed Christmas as much as I did this year.  Everything just seemed perfect.  For starters, Kory and I drove across the country as we traditionally do, simply so our dog doesn't have to suffer in the cargo hold of an airplane.  Kory thought it would be a good idea if, instead of stopping for the night in a hotel, we just pull over and nap when necessary.  Since he was the primary driver, I went along  with whatever he desired.  The first day, Saturday, he drove 17 hours straight, napped for 4 and finished out the final 8 hours on Sunday.  We certainly got to Pennsylvania a lot quicker than previous trips.  The weather was ideal.  There wasn't a speck of snow or glisten of ice until we got to Ohio.  It was like a scene from White Christmas.  And the best part... the roads were clear and dry - we couldn't have asked for a more amazing Christmas Welcome as we were nearing our destination!

We got the festivities rolling immediately.  Kory's niece and nephew (Emma and Aramy) were having their kindergarten Christmas play the following morning.  What a way to kick start the holiday fun with our families! It was absolutely adorable to say the least!  The singing and dancing was enough to put anyone in a Christmas spirit!  To top it off, Kassy, Kory's youngest big sister,  is substituting for the Punxsy Elementary music teacher so she was in charge of putting the whole program together for all of the schools.  It turned out wonderfully and it was awesome to see her in action!  Following the Christmas play, we got to join Kory's Aunt Dee, cousin Chanti, and Kassy for lunch!  What a fabulous first day!

Because Kory's family chose to celebrate Christmas on the 26th instead of the 24th this year, Kory so "generously" volunteered for he and I to take care of all of the Christmas Eve cooking and planning this year for my family.  Traditionally, we don't have a sit down dinner because the kitchen is occupied with preparing Christmas dinner.  So keeping with the norm, Kory and I prepared lots of snack and hors d'oeuvres.  My doll of a little brother made the most amazing spiral ham that accented our veggie trays and dips perfectly!   That evening we all played games and did some last minute wrapping.  My mom and I got to have some one-on-one time.  She reiterated how incredibly happy my family is to welcome Kory into our family. I can see it in the most subtle interactions but it was still wonderful to hear from my mom!  And similar to Thanksgiving, my family constantly reminded us that this time next year, Kory and I will be married.  This reality is still a challenge for me to believe... but I am so excited!

Because most of us stayed up until 3 am reminiscing, baking and wrapping gifts, Christmas morning we all slept in.  I am notorious for waking up at the crack of dawn and insisting everyone "rise and shine."  I believe last year my dad responded to my childlike enthusiasm with, "Did mama forget to inform you that Santa doesn't deliver to 24 year olds?"   Contrary to what everyone expected, this year I wanted nothing more than sleep.  I must be getting old or maybe after 25 Christmases I realized that everything looks just the same at 9 am as compared to 5 am.  When we finally got around to getting everyone up and equipped with an XL cup of coffee it was nearly 11 o'clock!  Luckily this year we changed things up at the Rosenberger house - a lot. 

We agreed that within our family we would draw names to make gifts and draw an additional name to buy a gift.  It turned out to be a great success.  The gift opening on Christmas morning took on a whole new meaning.  Realizing that the presents were truly homemade gifts from the heart made it feel like we'd finally figured out how to celebrate to maximize the meaning of the holiday. While we loved it, my parents struggled a bit with only having to purchase a couple of things.  I think they will adjust! Needless to say, we will doing the same thing next year.  Not only do we save hundreds of dollars by avoiding the materialistic chaos, but the gifts have more meaning than money could buy.  Kory and I have already agreed that this is a concept we'd like to incorporate in our own family Christmases one day.

For lunch we headed to the Frostburgh Hall - for the annual Blose Family Christmas.  This is another tradition I look so forward to each year!  Kory's family is hilarious and unfortunately living so far away we don't get to see nearly as much of them as we'd like to.  This is an event where you're guaranteed to laugh and have a wonderful time.  This year it seemed unusually empty but turned out to be a great time as always!

After lunch we ate our third meal of the day back at my parents' house.  By the end of the day, we were all very content in our food comas, in front of the television. 

As I noted previously, Kory's family chose to celebrate Christmas with their mom the day after Christmas this year.  It turned out to be a great idea.  I love having something to look forward to after Christmas so I especially enjoyed this swap. 

Marilyn, Kory's mom, is notorious for her amazing food and this Christmas celebration was nothing short of incredible!  It's always tough to save a little room for dessert and this experience was no different... though stuffed to the max with prime rib and mashed potatos, I managed to eat my weight in Marilyn's delectable desserts! Yum!

Following dinner we opened our gifts.  Like my family, we also exchange gifts within Kory's immediate family.  What a joy it is.  Watching the little kids tear open their packages and seeing their eyes light up when the prize is revealed is priceless.  An extra special change this year was that all of Kory's nieces and nephews were calling me "Aunt Sara!"  My heart melted each and every time I heard it!  I am so blessed to be marrying into a family full of awesome kids that I get to watch grow up!

For every reason imaginable, this Christmas was the best ever... and I expect next year will be even better! :)

We'll Be Home for Christmas

Tomorrow, Kory and I will begin our annual journey to Pennsylvania for Christmas with our families.  We have been looking forward to and planning for this trip for quite some time.  Living so far away from our families is always challenging but luckily we have these couple of weeks each year devoted to  family time to provide some relief. 

This year I am extra excited not only to spend Christmas with my family but also with Kory's!  His family is blessed with 5 kiddos that I will soon have the honor of calling my very own nieces and nephews.  And this time next year, it will be official! 
To add to my joy and anticipation this Christmas, we're expecting another tot on my side of the family, shortly after Christmas! 

There's so much to look forward to this Christmas and so very much to be thankful for with my family and family-to-be! :)

Thanksgiving, 2009

This holiday season is the last one that Kory and I will spend as singles.  Luckily, our last Thanksgiving unwed was amazing! It was everything you hope the holiday will be. We were all in great spirits, the company was awesome, the food was incredible, and we were all thankful for the blessings we’ve been given.

We spent this Thanksgiving at my adorable and hugely pregnant big sister’s (Kelly) house in my hometown – Farmington, New Mexico. We were lucky enough to have my younger sister (Jazmin) with us for the week. We spent the first part of her visit celebrating her 21st birthday in Las Vegas. Following our mini adventure, Kory generously offered to drive us from Denver to Farmington so we could all be together for the holiday.

I’ve never been more thankful that Jazzie and Kory get along as well as they do. She effortlessly entertained him in the front seat while I cat napped in the backseat – for the entire 8 hour drive.  The laughter and joking was like a lullabye...  I’m terrible, I know. We arrived around 3 am on Wednesday morning. 

Kelly, Jazzie, and I spent all of Wednesday preparing for Thursday’s festivities. Kelly prepped the turkey and made yam casserole while Jazzie made the most delicious desserts and homemade cranberry sauce. My sisters are truly amazing – I feel like the runt of the litter much of the time. They included me where possible… taste testing their masterpieces and scrubbing dishes. Kory spent most of the day catching up on his lost sleep and entertaining my niece, Brooklyn.

With a great day of work and family bonding behind us, Wednesday night seemed like a good time to “pop the question.” I sat my sisters down and with the help of a little poem Kory and I constructed, I asked them to be my matron and maid of honors in our wedding. It was a great moment. I never thought I’d wonder if they’d agree to it, but I was a bit nervous. Luckily they both said they would stand by my side at our wedding! It seemed like the perfect ending to a great day with both of my sisters!

Thursday was an equally fabulous day. Most of my brother in law’s family joined us. We had an amazing array of characters of all ages. The day was full of laughter and light hearted fun. And the men even cleaned up after dinner... a sight none of us imagined we'd ever witness! :)

The only moments I was caught off guard were those when someone made a comment like, “Next year we won’t have to do the dishes on the boat!” Or “Next Thanksgiving we will have crab and brisket and maybe some pizza!” Or most shocking, “On this day, next year, you will be a married woman!” Statements like these almost took my breath away, literally. It is crazy to think that I will be getting married in a definitive amount of time. It’s even crazier to think that people might actually come! Haha. In less than a year, Kory and I will be married!!!!!

This Thanksgiving I was so thankful for my awesome sisters and the most enjoyable time together.  And of course, I felt so blessed to have Kory by my side as my fiancé, my husband-to-be. He fit in perfectly with my family and friends as always, only reaffirming what I already know. What a perfect way to start the 1 year countdown to our wedding day!

subject: my picks for your wedding dress

I checked my email the other evening and low and behold I had new mail from my fiance!  My first thought, "Why is he emailing me when we're 3 feet apart?!"  Then I saw the subject, "my picks for your wedding dress."  My stomach sank.  Wedding dress?!   We just decided when and where to get married, don't I get a breather before moving onto things like cakes and wedding dresses? 

Of course I was very curious to see what he imagined his bride in on the big day.  My guess- traditional. Kory is a very traditional kind of guy in a lot of ways.  On the other hand, we are having an untraditional ceremony, getting married on a beach so maybe he will think outside the box.  WRONG.  90% of the dresses were very formal and traditional as I'd initially predicted.  This is the one that made #1 (photo below).  Imagine me in this dress, barefoot in the sand with the guys in khaki shorts and tropical shirts! haha.  I think we are going to have to discuss the level of formality we are going for a bit further before I decide on a dress style or we rule out renting tuxes!

Vow to Wow... ugh!

I had no idea how much pressure was put on the couple (more the bride than groom) to be in the best shape of their lives until I started reading every online article and magazine about wedding planning that I could get my hands on. The catchphrase for this promise to have the perfect body is  "Vow to Wow." Case in point: http://www.brides.com/myweddingplanner/bodymakeover/goals Unfortunately for those of us who are stress eaters, this is an impossibility - losing weight while planning a wedding! I joke with Kory that I will "wow"... but ironically, I don't mean by being chiseled and lean! haha! No "brideorexia" here!

Pressure, pressure, pressure.  The fact that we've chosen a cruise only increases the need to look presentable in a bathing suit!  Eek!  Maybe we ought to rethink this tropical destination and head to the North Pole - to be married in snow pants and parkas!  :)

I've already requested the new Reebok Easytone sneakers for my Christmas gift from Kory - if I can tone my butt and thighs while walking from the couch to the kitchen, why not?! hehe. I guess with the wedding just over a year away, it is time to start thinking about eating healthier and fitting in some sort of exercise into my stagnant life.