Congrats... etc.

Coming back to work after getting married...

First you get, "Congratulations!" 

Then comes some rhetorical questions that are only intended to show interest...

"How does it feel to be married?"
"What's it like to be off the market?"

And finally, the personal tales of humor and horror around their wedding or the weddings they have attended...

"My wife's father stepped on her dress as they started down the aisle.  She fell.  When her dad lifted her off the ground, not realizing he was still standing on the dress, he ripped the skirt right off!"

"My first [husband] never came to the wedding.  I never saw him again."

"When asked how long I had been married, I gave the sum of all my marriages.  My current wife of a year wasn't too thrilled with my response of  'twenty two years.'  We only made it to a year and a half." 

"My wedding was perfect.  I woke up drunk and went to bed drunk."

"We accidentally put the wrong address on our invitations.  We had 200 guests waiting patiently for us at the church on the street over.  That was before cell phones.  We had our pastor, bridal party and our parents with us.  All of our guests assumed we'd gotten scared and ran for the hills." 

"We spent our wedding night in the hospital.  I thought it would be funny if I took the less gentlemanly road with the cake... I smashed the buttercream icing in her face.  All over her face.  I forgot that she has a severe allergy to milk and we were supposed to exchange bites of the pie sitting next to the cake.  She broke out in hive and the icing that got into her eyes made them swell up like she'd been attacked in a dark ally.  I sure looked like a jerk." 

It's amazing what people remember... and more amazing what they choose to share!